I Punish You with water !
This is text heavy on the over use of punishment in the kink scene from my point of view.
Kink is not always about the Serious. Over punishment and reasons to dish out forms of punishment is seen through out the kink community with many different variations. These variations are often see by the Masters, Mistresses, Tops, Dom/mes, switches etc etc with their slaves, subs, bottoms, masochists and so forth. It doesn't seem to be a specific age or gender, but I have noticed less experienced or those of large egos do it more. Regardless of the role, I see often the term punishment used like a glass of water.
A glass of water ?
Let me explain a glass of water.
Water is needed to quench a thirst. Its readily available and easy to obtain. It is in plenty, cheap, has a refreshing taste but to keep refreshed you need to have it on a regular bases. If you drink to much water, you can lead to a condition known as water intoxication which is a problem as a result from the dilution of sodium in the body, hyponatremia. Mild symptoms include a decreased ability to think, headaches, nausea, and poor balance. Severe symptoms include confusion, seizures, and coma. yes a coma, remember this part. So in short, to much water is bad and causes stress to the body. Don't believe me? google that right now.
I spoke to a person recently whom I would consider to be a role of Bottom. Lets call this person Bob. Bob plays with various people at events, likes being hit with things such as the cane and is a moderate masochist level with brat tendencies. This means Bob can take a beating within reason but is playful and likes pushing buttons. Bob recently asked me, why do I get punished for everything as a reason to beat me. I get built up with impossible or extremely hard tasks, then get called useless and punished with a beating. This is causing my head to tell me I am not enjoying myself as everything I do is wrong and I don't like being punished. This is making me feel a bit down and worthless. Is it normal or am I just not trying hard enough.
Remember how I mentioned water earlier ?
Water is in our head space water tank. When it is at a nice level, filling as we enjoy our kinks, we are happy. If we space, the water has reached a peak, drains out automatically like a wild log flume causing us to be euphoric for a length of time as we enjoy the ride then be at a level of feeling down until our re hydration is complete with aftercare and time. Usually a Mars bar and cuppa helps as all that drained water took all our salt and sugar *wink*.
Well Bob is being drowned with water. Bob is being punished for everything Bob does and can't seem do anything right, is branded useless, Bobs kink now irritates Bob, all of which is leading to mental hyponatremia.
Water is all now flooding the floor and along with it Bobs emotions. Bobs head space is confused and the need to play, have fun and enjoy kink is quickly becoming a coma. If Bob reaches the level of coma, this means a hard or even irreversible level of mental block will be established. This mental block causes Bob to be depressed and not go to events anymore, and hide away from people Bob has played with for not wanting to be punished in order to just play and have fun. Bob is now isolated.
Stop using meaningless punishment on your Bottoms, subs, switches and play partners.
No one wants to feel worthless just to enjoy their kink. If you want to wack someone and that's your consensual kink, go for it. Bend that person over and go to town (or what ever position is desired). Get the spanking going, swing those canes and paddles and so on just stop using an excuse of "oh you failed at that overly complex task now I will punish you with the thing you enjoy but in a nasty way" is going to slowly cause a build up which will eventually over fill the water tank, flood the floor and emotions will be all over the place. This is not limited to just impact play I am only using this area of kink as a generic reference.
Punishments should be kept as actual punishments. Punishments are something you should use on the dislike list but not a limit. Yes you need these lists just as much as the likes list. if you don't have a dislike list then how can you be punished effectively ? Using a kink someone enjoys as a punishment is like pouring water in a already full water tank. You want to drain some of that water away instead with a proper punishment so the bottom or sub thinks twice about what he or she did and sets out on the task to get his or her water tank to a good level again.
Kink is about exploring and having fun. Over use of a punishment, (particularly using someones enjoyed kink in a nasty sense as punishment), is not kinky and can even be linked to mental abuse. It can be a show of ones self confidence not being that high or that of a person with very little imagination. If you need to punish someone a lot and they are "useless" then why are you bothering with this person. Maybe you see the Bob as an easy target to show off with and manipulate for your own personal social gain. If this is the case you are not a nice person.
I for one don't want useless people I have to punish all the time, its counter productive of ones time. Instead teach and mentor to make that person stronger and better.
Then if he or she is a cunt on the occasional one of get the correction method out. Just smile when you do it ;)
Everyone needs some water, I totally agree, but moderation is the key