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This writing can cause potential triggering to those who may suffer mental health. If at any time your feeling low please give a great service such as the Samaritansa call for a chat. If you are from a different country to the UK a quick google search for help will find a local service.


Samaritans phone line is FREE


I wanted to touch on the hot man's topic of the month with it being Movember. I wanted to wait until after bonfire night so all the hype of fireworks goes up in smoke and the next day is left the smokey morning and smell of leftover bonfires.

This I refer to as an idea of what mental health can look like. Particularly in men, as men don't like talking as often it can be seen as less manly or fear of ridicule. You see, everyone can have a sudden burst of happy, set all those fireworks off, ignore what's going on in the rest of the world, get back to primal basics of fire socialising and have a jolly good time.

However, the next day is not so clear. You wake with a mist over your world, you remember fragments of those happy memories smouldering in a grey ash what was once a roaring fire of confidence and social engagement. You feel alone. Trapped in a glass box with those thoughts were no one can hear you but everyone can see you but walks past getting on with their busy life as your cries for help don't get recognised or noticed due to the glass box stopping interaction with the outside world.

Then the low moods, the seeing the friends less, the problems at work start and before you know it its a cold winters night with just the icy wind and cold breath coming from your dry lips to remind you that you're still breathing. It's then you start to wonder why to bother anymore as you don't want to be alone with the bonfire smoke reminding you of a time in your life you can't get back.

That is what Movember is for. Its aim is to help raise awareness for and reduce the number of men dying from suicide related mental health.

I meet a lot of men unsure about sexuality which for example makes a big impact on their mental health. Gay men still have a big social stigma and even though it's getting better in the workplace, and in England for one is getting better at social acceptance, better human rights acts, better sexuality acceptance, better with trans people being more open with work and friends.

BUT there will always be homophobia, ignorance and hate in the world for people who just like the sound of their voice to help drown out their own demons.

But the world will catch up with them and is doing. It sucks yes it does to be on the receiving end but it's better to hold your head high and stand for what you believe in rather than conform in misery and live a lie.

Others have lost long-term partners and just need a bit of support to stop the loneliness consuming their minds and some have home problems such as single dads with children to look after and stress getting on top.

I am aware of one gentleman with three kids as his partner was taken away from the family due to drug abuse. He still smiles and socialises with the local family centre. The aim is to keep going and keep in contact with people.

With kink, I have men come to me to solve their kink itch issues. This can build up to a big problem if you choose to ignore it, many searching the online forums for answers. But in fact you need a physical push to have that release in a safe environment rather than at the top a motorway bridge wondering if your sick for being different or finding yourself in a room of strangers using you with no condoms for that tempory moment of feeling wanted. Though afterwards, you feel worse for it.

Have more self-worth. Meet people in safe environments such as munches and make connections in the real world. Real-time interactions with humans have a massive effect on your mental health as humans are social animals and we are built to walk around.

Sitting at the screen constantly is very bad for your physical health which in turns feeds mental health problems.

So travel, walk around your city, find those quirky little cafes, have a brew and perhaps say hello to the strange next to you probably do the same thing. Worse that can happen is a no thank you. The best thing that can happen is a new friend to talk to.


To take part in Movember is easy, just grow some facial hair. Try a new beard or moustache for the duration of Movember. Or go all out like ZZ top and carry on for years to come.

You can help raise money for the charity in a number of ways.


To help get you going, here are a few examples of some facial hair you can get on board with. Personally I am a number 4 but without the sides.

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