H & S + Aftercare
Health & Safety
This is an entry to highlight the new help sheet I have created with the above title and can be found by CLICKING HERE.
The reason I created this sheet was to initially help with a workshop that I was hosting, so people could use the sheet as a reference regarding pre-play and after play health and safety with aftercare advice. We were going to talk about this area for a few moments, as I considered it to have been generally common knowledge that information regarding this area to be carried out by the majority of people.
It turned out that I was wrong.
Before the start of my workshop, I called out for anyone that wished to join to come forth and take part. I sent two minions to go around the building to mention we was going to start. Mostly falling on deaf ears, not many came forward until people started to notice the random items appearing from my bag from the shopping list that I had asked workshop attendees to bring along to try. Once people noticed this a small group of around thirty or so people quickly gathered to listen to what I had to say. Health and safety prior to play was always the top of my list with greater detail within workshop settings.
I believe, everyone should be responsible for their own actions which are created by that of an informed decision based on the data/information provided at the time of making the decision, and taking into consideration the data/information is as up to date and accurate as possible when received. It is your own responsibility to ask the questions and ensure what you know is correct and without known changes that wouldn't be factored into your decision.
I asked a fairly large group of around fortey people, "how many of you carry first aid kits relevant to the type of play you mostly engage in"?
Can you guess how many raised their hand or said me/us?
Turns out this is what I consider a pretty big deal. The majority of BDSM/Kink related play involves something that's going to impact one way or another, or involve sharp objects. Things that cut, prick, sting, potential irritation to the eyes/wounds etc. The list of potential incidents/accidents can be drawn up to be a huge number. Just take a moment and think about it regarding to the types of play that you are involved with and any items/parts of the body involved.
While talking about ideas to put in a first aid kit or play incident bag, a large number of the faces in front of me looked at me as if I was speaking German. It was as if I was boring them, talking rubbish and they just didn't need to know this kind of thing. 'Just get on with the workshop' was the vibe that I got.
If anyone doesn't like talking about anything that can potentially help make your play safer for you and those around you, then any class, demo or information involving me is not for you.
For example spanking.
A very common act of kink, spanking. This can be on both male and female, hands are easily available and a simple over the knee request gets the ball rolling.
What I do if I break the skin while spanking such as catching a under skin bruise I didn't notice, hand jewlery I forgot to take off such as rings, my finger nails or just the badluck of the bottom being spanked having weak skin in a certain area for other reasons or just the spank was very hard and tore the skin.
- Well, I would stop straight away. - I already have nitrile gloves on as I always have hand protection for casual play. - Priority one is to stop the bleed getting worse, I would grab a tissue wipe from my bag. - I would apply pressure to the minor wound. - I would spray some clinell on the wound and wipe it down with the wipe. - I would apply a plaster relevant to the size of the wound. - Remove my gloves and change into a new pair. - Check the surrounding area for any blood contamination. - Tie up all of my incident rubbish into a nappy sack and put it in the bin when convenient. - Carry on my scene if both parties are happy. Avoiding the new plaster.
If it's a fluid bound partner I am playing with I use no gloves, therefore just use the hand cleaner.
What would you do with NO first aid kit in your bag ?
- You would probably swear or wonder what to do. - You would start looking around the room for a roll of wipes/tissue. - Moving around looking for something to stop the bleed means that it is still bleeding. - Greater chance of contaminating the surrounding area. - You finally find something to apply pressure to stop the bleeding. - The scene is now interrupted due to the minor panic to solve the problem. - You have nothing such as a plaster to ensure that the wound will not re-open. - You need to ask the venue staff for assistance in supplying a plaster. - You look like a prat for not dealing with the situation swiftly.
The difference in which simply carrying a small first aid/play incident bag can make is massive. It also makes the risks of play considerably lower and makes all parties involved more confident that any problems can be dealt with quickly. CLICK HERE to go to my HSA help sheet.
The talk to the group got the dagger looks even sharper. Oh yes they did.
After the above was spoken about, Consent was next on my list.
"Who here gets consent from their top/bottom before play"? Everyone agrees and everyone nods.
"Who here knows the medical history of everyone that they play with"? Causal play in particular. The Majority looked confused, a few nod and agree.
If you have not sought the medical background of who you play with, then you can not make an informed decision whether to choose to play with that person. You can not make an informed decision whether the play you wish to engage is as safe as you can possibly make I by being aware of any potential risk. Therefore you cannot consent to the play. If you carry on, you are potentially putting your Top, bottom or those around you at risk. The play is non consensual. You're basically playing for lust rather than facts and common sense.
Death stares, people got up shaking their heads and walked away. Some stay a little longer and give me hate looks. How dare I propose that their play is non consensual. But it is ?
For example your bottom play partner has got breast implants, you don't know.
This is more common than you think. In particular with male to female tranisitons, past cancer problems or just cosmetic,
You decide that you both want to engage with sadomasochism impact play without medical discussion.
- You start off with some torso jabs, maybe some face slapping. - You then go for a few breast slaps. -The bottom is now getting in the mood from the last 15/20 mins so far - The top ups the game, gets the heavy stick, starts whacking the bottom on the bum. - Legs, arms, more bum, legs, whack whack. - Both the Top and bottom are now deep in the scene, the bottom wants more. - The Top hits harder, then smacks the breast area repeatedly amongst other areas.
Now, this can go a number of ways. The bottom suddenly gets a shooting pain and cries out. An ambulance is called, rushed to A.E.
The bottom has no idea the breast implant is ruptured. The scene carries on, finishes, parties part and go home. The bottom gets a growing pain over a period of time and suddenly wakes up in a cold sweat due to the infection and septicaemia now in the chest. 999 is called.
A quick medical chat would have alerted the Top not to hit the chest. The bottom had a duty of care to alert the Top but wanted to just engage in play for whatever reason. Horny, lust for the Top and his or her show off skills, alcohol. Who knows, everyone has a reason to hide something they may be embarrassed about and avoid talking about it if not directly asked.
Some people even forget about a potential health problem due to living with it everyday and not thinking about it.
The difference simply carrying a small first-aid/play incident bag can make is massive. It also makes the risks of play considerably lower and makes all parties involved more confident any problems can be dealt with quickly. CLICK HERE to go to my HSA help sheet.